long-term b/f won’t give me intimacy?
I’ve been with my b/f for 5 years. we’re almost 30. I hurt my ankle and haven’t been able to exercise as much, several month recovery, so I gained 25 pounds.
Even before this, b/f isn’t really interested in sex, except for the first “honeymoon” year of our relationship.
He is more interested in his rock band and musicians then having fun with his long-term g/f.
What should I do? He’s not hear a lot and when he is, he’s always looking how he can make it in music and isn’t interested in sex though he doesn’t want me to leave.
I’m about to buy a bunch of sex toys off of xandria.com but he acts like that’s gross. C’mon guys I didn’t agree to celibacy and that I’d be a nun. I’m almost 30 and in my female prime. I don’t want to sleep around with other guys but b/f is neglecting me for almost 2 years now.
HELP! Any advice kindly appreciated. Please be nice.
Thank so far everyone!
I have asked him many times, today he said he is severely depressed. He hates his job and can’t find a better one, especially b/c he didn’t get an education and has too many bills to go back to school and doesn’t want to.
Sex is the last thing on his mind. His sister was a stripper and disgusted him sleeping with his friends. He caught an STD from one of his sisters friends but it seems to have gone away. He said sex has ugly ties and music makes him feel redeemed.
STILL I can’t live with sex toys the rest of my life. 2 years is long time to go with very little, unless I get him drunk and be forceful but I deserve more…not someone with a lot of baggage. You guys are right, before me, he have 21 one night stands. No girl come back for repeat performance (except one tried) and he didn’t care.
He is better friend than a b/f or husband. Plus he hates kids and doens’t believe in marriage. He gained a lot of weight too!
Posted by Webmaster
3 Responses
just get the toys…. unless they are gay (and even then i know some that would still watch and get turned on) and have yourself a ball… er well you get the idea…..
only other choice is to just throw him down and take what you want from him… if even after that he dont get the hint (i dont think i could even miss a hint like that) i would start looking elsewhere as he is probably just still with you out of convince/habit and as you said into other things now
1) He is not that into you. He is into his dream. It is not going to change no matter what you do.
2) Dump him and move on. He is not going to change.
3) You cannot change him. Get that idea in the trash can now.
4) Being in a band, he may be doing other women (and will deny it if he is, so don’t even go there). It is an occupational hazard. He probably is. I know that from too many friends who were/are in bands and what they experience. Men can be dogs (women too).
5) Buy the toys if you like. Use them. He may not like them, fine. He should be out of the door anyway.
6) You can find another activity to lose the weight. Swimming, walking, weight lifting, etc. It will make you feel better, keep you healthier, and make you more attractive and set up a lifestyle to keep it that way.
Whatever you decide, you want to do what is right for you. This situation with him will not change. It has not for over “2 years neglect” as you said. You are young and need to move on with your life so you can have a happy life and relationship.
you should tell him that you really want sex again